With Purpose

What do we do when striving to be Godly men and live accordingly, especially in the area of relationships, dating and marriage? Where does that fit into our lives? How does that get prioritized with the pursuit of a college education, a worthwhile job, and advancing a career? I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering these things, in fact I know I'm not.

Part of preparing to be a Godly leader in the household and your family is having a stable job to be able to financially support yourself and at the minimum, your spouse. To be able to have said "stable job" we need to have the education for it. In society today it is highly unlikely for high school drop outs or even those with a high school diploma to obtain a job that pays well enough to support themselves comfortably and another just as comfortable. This used to be the case in the time of our parents, but with higher education being sought after more regularly, and technology advancing in such a way, these jobs require more advanced skill sets. As a result of this, students are going to high school, and going to college and earning degrees to simply fall into the middle class of society. As believers, and men in the church we should be pursuing these things with excellence; striving for the goal of being successful, and yet remembering it is because God has been gracious enough to bless us with this opportunity. Being purposeful in obtaining these degrees to pursue a worthy degree requires more effort, time, and motivation.

Likewise, we should be actively pursuing that career, and sustainable job. There is nothing to be content with in having a mediocre job that simply gets us by. Now, I completely understand our economic state, and we are blessed to even have jobs right now; however, we should be striving for other opportunities to succeed. We cannot be content and complacent in that job at the gas station, or flipping burgers (And yes, I flipped burgers at In-N-Out for 4 1/2 years to get me through the end of high school and my first two years of college). With that being said, there are times when that mediocre job is acceptable, but should never be the end of our pursuit. We cannot be men in our early to mid-twenties that make enough money to go buy that new video game and cheap beer (thanks Pastor Justin for your vivid examples) but should be pursuing worthwhile jobs that contribute to society. Also, we need to be doing this with excellence and looking to glorify God in our current job and our pursuit of a career. Again, this is something that is going to require effort, time and motivation.

Now, Biblically men who have the desire to date and pursue a Godly woman should; and they should marry them. They should marry and start a family, and be one and glorify God in the beauty that is: marriage. I know the majority of Christian men definitely have this desire. Now we all have faults and struggles along the way... we dabble in worldly endeavors that lead us nowhere, and we pursue things and relationships that are not worthwhile and do not glorify God. We're human, and we're going to make mistakes. However, we come to the realization that God has created us for that intimate relationship and to pursue that because when we do, we are making much of Him and glorifying Him through the masterpiece of marriage that He has created.

Of course we are never fully "ready" for marriage, or know what to expect and how to handle every situation, but there also comes a point where we take responsibility for our actions, and pursue God in the fashion of a serious relationship progressing towards marriage.

How does “dating” fit into this? Are “dating” and “courting” the same thing in today’s culture? I think the two are synonymous. Some people say that courting is more for a serious relationship that you are pursuing a marriage with; while dating is merely going out, having fun and getting to know a person and whatever happens, happens. As Christians, why would we waste time dabbling in relationships and not being intentional with them? We should be intentional about everything we do, and seeking to glorify God in the process. Where is God’s glory in simply “dating” a girl just for kicks and the instant gratification of, “I have a date”?

So if we are going to be purposeful in dating, for the pursuit of marriage, how prepared do we need to be? Do we have to have that college degree to obtain that career-type job that will be able to financially support the two of us? Or can we be pursuing those things and actively pursuing a spouse as well? Do we have time to pursue all of those with excellence at one time? Does it really matter which order those come in as long as we’re seeking God through it all? Clearly I don’t have the answers, but these are just some of my thoughts.

P.s. Here are some good tunes that are on my current playlist, enjoy:

1. Cave In, Fireflies – Owl City

2. War in my Blood – Fiction Family

3. Sometime before Midnight – The Airborne Toxic Event

4. Another Heart Calls – The All American Rejects (Just give it a listen)

5. Burn Out Brighter (Northern Lights) – Anberlin

6. Life in Technicolor II – Coldplay

7. Grapevine Fires – Death Cab for Cutie

8. Syndicate – The Fray

9. Days End – Ivoryline

10. Electrify, Backfire - Mutemath